January has been a slow, cold, yet cozy month. I’m ever on the task of nourishing our family and myself well, which means slowly finding alternatives for products and foods that aren’t serving us. While I know bread is not the “staple” of a healthy diet, I do love a good egg on avocado toast so I’ve been learning the ways of all the sourdough moms out there. I’m appreciating doing a new skill with my hands, learning from those around me, and knowing we are cutting out the yucky stuff in store bought breads and replacing it with simple ingredients that are easily digestible. I’m adoring the smell of fresh bread filling our home and I love about the kids seeing me up and at a task vs. mindlessly scrolling my phone which can happen on long winter days when I’m not careful.
Since my second trimesters started, I’m feeling that burst of enthusiasm and energy. First trimesters have always been challenging. I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to nourish my body, and prepare my mind and body for birth. While I’m thankful for Masons birth and the motivation it’s given me to show up for myself and this baby in a new way, his birth left me with lots of fear. I cannot deny fears are trickling back into my mind… doubts in myself and ability to make decisions, fear of pain, fear of what I cannot control, of praying for a different experience this time and feeling let down by God if things don’t “go well.” I’ve been really focusing on redirecting thoughts of fear. I’ve been speaking aloud 2 Timothy 1:7 over myself; “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” Though I may feel fear, the truth is it is not aligned with my spirit- the innermost, deepest part of my being. Can I believe this about myself? Can I believe that in the deepest parts of Taylor are power, love and a sound mind. Words that stuck with me this month were, “It’s hard to believe a lie if you’re speaking the truth.”
“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7
What I’m listening to this month:
PEACEFUL WORSHIP playlist
Podcasts:
What’s the Point of Making a Home?
What I’m reading the month:
The Cuckoo’s Calling – Robert Galbraith
Nine Golden Months- Heng Ou
Atomic Habits- James Clear
Life after Birth – Jessica Prescott
Real Food for Pregnancy- Lily Nichols
I can’t say I look at January as a super desirable month, but sometimes that force to cozy up inside and slow down is refreshing. I’m starting up my 6th book since the new year (It’s a goal to read 20 this year), joined a book club, Calebs been tackling renovations on our home and it’s starting to feel like a space that feels calm and inviting. I’m grateful for these moments right now… the slowness, my husband hard at work: not because paint colours matter in the slightest to him but because he loves me, Mason yelling “AMEN” with exuberance after ever meal prayer, braiding Emmas hair and teaching her how to care for herself, and those sweet little baby movements that remind me the miracle that’s growing inside. I’m excited to continue to see our home change, to try making some sourdough waffles and buns and dig into more of my reading list. I’m also dreaming of meeting the sweet little life thats about to change ours sooner than I know.
